THE OEDIPUS COMPLEX
Although it is only loosely connected with sexuality, the Oedipus complex – one of the basic concepts in psychoanalysis – deserves mention here.
We shall just give a brief outline, however, as it is a complicated notion and is in any case sometimes contested by the less strictly Freudian psychoanalysts.
According to Greek mythology, Oedipus killed his father without knowing it was his father, and married his mother without knowing it was his mother.
Freud used this myth to explain the natural tendency for a young boy to eliminate his father and expend all his love on his mother. (The reverse tendency exists for girls, and is called the Electra complex).
In fact the child is in a situation of conflict. The father is admired because he is strong while the child is weak, and because he knows everything while the child is ignorant. But at the same time, the child does not want his father as a rival for his mother’s love.
The complex generally dies out around the age of five or six. At this age the child’s existence is no longer restricted to the family home. He has his friends, he plays, he is becoming aware of his body as an independent being. He goes to school, he is learning things, he feels himself becoming a man.
As a rule the parents are not aware their child has an Oedipus complex. His aggressiveness towards his father is seen as capriciousness, while his love for his mother seems perfectly natural.
But in some cases, around the age of 13 to 15 or older, a boy experiences surges of tenderness towards his mother that seem inappropriate for his age, or a girl behaves towards her father as if she were in love with him. It may be they have not resolved the complexes of their infancy, but one should not rush to this conclusion. Only a psychologist can tell, and can advise the parents accordingly.
It may indeed be helpful to consult a psychologist. Problems can arise at the adult stage: adolescents who avoid contact with others of their own age, girls who seek the company of much older men, people who seem not to want to make their own lives and are still living with their parents at the age of twenty-five or thirty, and so on.
While these cases are fairly rare, it is best to identify them at the teenage stage, so as to avoid incompatible couples being formed later on.
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